Wine Me, Dine Me, 69 Me
WINE ME, DINE ME, 69 ME
JANUARY 31, 2021
BY MACKENNA CATE MANIDIS
The history of 69-ing is as elusive as it is silly.
It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly when the number became synonymous with jokes and memes; even the cultural history is widely speculated to this day. The earliest historical mention of everyone’s favorite position is in the aptly named Whore's CatechismS published in 1790s France. To 69 is a noted favorite sex act of French revolutionary figure Théroigne de Méricour, who wrote about her fondness for mutual oral sex with a sweet and sexy little French twist; calling it soixante-neuf.
While a much more modern article in Cosmopolitan magazine calls the act “pointless multitasking,” pop queen Ariana Grande devoted an entire track to mutual oral sex. 34+35 is packed to the brim with thinly veiled references to the infamous position and Ari’s desire for shared pleasure with her partner.
A quick Google search of “how to ask for oral sex” exudes pages and pages of results detailing the typical insecurities people face when confronted with the possibility of sharing their genitals with a partner - smells, tastes, visuals, feelings of selfishness. Jokes and worries aside, 69-ING is actually awesome.
Here’s how to get comfortable.
Be confident.
One main point of sex, for every person involved, is pleasure. While oral may not always lead to orgasm, it is a way to feel close with and exercise trust with your partner. Being upfront about your desires to feel good and explore intimacy is something that every partner wants to hear! Don’t be shy!
Don’t be afraid to give guidance or praise.
By the same coin, no one wants to feel like they’re not getting there or connecting with their partner. Being vocal and letting them know when what they’re doing feels good not only makes receiving oral better for you, but gives your partner confidence that they’re performing. No one is a sexual psychic and not every partner has the same desires. There’s nothing wrong with letting someone know what you want. In fact, it’s encouraged!
Try it on your side.
While the more traditional version of the 69 is with one on top and one on bottom, laying on your sides can yield more control for each partner and fewer chances of accidentally hitting gag reflexes or losing control of the flow. While the position is more difficult for some who are different heights, being on your sides can help alleviate any extra stretching.
Although the soixante-neuF requires a partner, it’s a double-edged opportunity to not only get closer with them, but a way to learn what you do and don’t enjoy yourself. Deepening trust through sexual experience is a beautiful opportunity to get more intimate with your body. Regardless of your current personal relationship with oral sex, exploring and discovering what feels good to you is sacred. Take it at your own pace.
